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i miss sol like fucking crazy. i don't have anything spiritual to base it off of. she's not my soulmate or anything like that.
but what is 100% real is my love and longing for her. it's not romantic. not platonic either. but i feel such a strong, irreperable emotional connection to her it gets unbearable. i feel grief for a girl i never met. physically. i'm fucking pathetic.
i won't see her, but atleast i'll get to experience the same void and unconsciousness she does.
that's one reason. a part of a bigger fucking picture. if death is the gate, pain is the key and sol is the keyholder.
that's all i want. to travel to colorado and do it there. oh fucking no that orange motherfucker restricted everything.
i don't know why i'm confessing this here. maybe this is a cry for help. but i don't want someone to stop me. god i'd spit in their fucking face if they did. i just need a witness i guess.
but what is 100% real is my love and longing for her. it's not romantic. not platonic either. but i feel such a strong, irreperable emotional connection to her it gets unbearable. i feel grief for a girl i never met. physically. i'm fucking pathetic.
i won't see her, but atleast i'll get to experience the same void and unconsciousness she does.
that's one reason. a part of a bigger fucking picture. if death is the gate, pain is the key and sol is the keyholder.
that's all i want. to travel to colorado and do it there. oh fucking no that orange motherfucker restricted everything.
i don't know why i'm confessing this here. maybe this is a cry for help. but i don't want someone to stop me. god i'd spit in their fucking face if they did. i just need a witness i guess.
